Day 9 - He's Just Not That Into You
First Impressions:
"He's Just Not That Into You" offers a lazy-susan buffet of interconnected stories strung together with talking-heads and chapter headings. There's never a dull moment.
All-star cast, much like "Forgetting Sarah Marshall", that leaves little room for commercial failure.
Refreshing change of scenery: Baltimore!
I found myself pausing often to digest unlike "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". Based on a book, there is more information to process.
Despite its modernity, "He's Just Not That Into You" is a lot less cynical than say, "Friends With Benefits". It's a 'true' rom-com in the spirit of Jane Austen.
Scarlett Johansson. I would have to give my husband carte blanche. It's Scarlett Johansson. And she teaches yoga.
Personal Reflections:
"All I have is my guitar, these chords, and the truth."
The main goal in every storyline is marriage. Supposing your endgame is marriage, "He's Just Not That Into You" might be of some use to you. Bradley Cooper's character maintains that "No guy actually wants to get married," though by the end he is exposed as the cad he is and is punished accordingly with singledom. In fact, so is Scarlett Johansson. The adulterers are the only ones who are single and who also seem unhappy or at the very least disingenuous about their singledom. As soon as Ginnifer Goodwin has the prospect of a date, she and her co-worker giddily start planning a Napa Valley destination wedding. It's almost as if one must be coupled to be happy...
Unfortunately for Ginnifer Goodwin, she is more often the rule than the exception. I know of couples who were together for 7+ years who became married, so I think the rule book may need some revisions. I think the trend is that more people are products of divorced homes and reluctant to make their parent's mistakes. The movie is from 2009 and the book from 2004. In general, it's a good way to keep your ego in check. You aren't special, snowflake; he just isn't into you.
When we compare the two long term relationships in the movie - one a 7 year relationship, the other Bradley Cooper's marriage - we can see that issuing an ultimatum is not the best way to secure a mate. Bradley answers that he got married because she wanted to get married and would break up with him otherwise - "You're a dick if you date a girl for too long and don't marry her". Ben Affleck and Jennifer Aniston, on the other hand, truly love each other and exist together purely because they promise to commit to and love each other.
We looked at gratitude with "Chasing Amy" and here we have another woman who appreciates having Ben Affleck in her life. As it happens, when you stop focusing on the thing you think you want, declare that "It's enough, it's really enough for me", you get what you want. Ben Affleck proposes to Jennifer Aniston by the end. I would have preferred they remained unmarried, but as the marriage agenda is pushed hard, unlikely.
E (Kevin Connolly who I will forever know as his Entourage character) and Scarlett Johansson prove that it's not just women who fall victim to 'he's just not that into you'. Scarlett Johansson only runs to E when her primary interest seems uninterested and her self-esteem needs a boost. Misconstrued, E offers her 'what every girl wants', which is a house and promise of marriage. When that fails, E asks to 'dial back' to when they were just sleeping together. Another instance of pushing too hard and not being happy enough with what he had.
Of course, E seems to want marriage and isn't in the Bradley Cooper end of things, so it's within his best interest to ask rather than find out 7 years later, he's the rule. This brings about the idea that there are those seeking marriage and those who are not. If you find another person who is seeking commitment, this will work better than trying to 'turn' a person who is not 100% sold on the idea. I'm reminded of "Chasing Amy", replacing 'seeking commitment' with 'same sexual orientation'.
On the topic of "Chasing Amy", Alyssa Jones talks about expanding her search criteria to find 'the one to complete her'. Scarlett Johansson does the same, except she includes married men! While I can see how that makes logical sense, the idea seems morally indefensible. I want to say that Darwinian survival of the fittest should apply here and if a marriage is strong enough, it can survive the advances of a smoldering adulteress. A few months ago, I read a fascinating article in The New Yorker called China's Mistress-Dispellers. It's about a new industry in China in which individuals (much like private detectives) are hired to end extramarital liasons in a discreet manner, bringing the husband back to his wife and out of the grasps of xiao san (the mistress known as 'Little Third'). Just read it! The reason for the industry existing has to do with population disparity between men and women as well as women losing 'value' with age. I think Jennifer Connelly would be sinking a sizable fortune into her mistress dispeller if she wanted to keep Bradley Cooper.
I thought Cousin Jay was completely off-base with his wedding speech directed towards Jennifer Aniston, comparing her to an 'older model' car with some gas in the tank that 'runs well'. Because her younger sister is getting married and she is not married, she needs to be aware that there will be 'newer models arriving'; after all, she doesn't want to get left behind on the lot. I applaud that even after that, being seated next to Dan the Wiccan aka Brother Phoenix-East-Wind (?), and being hit on by a first cousin, she stays strong and cares for her sick dad. I would have raged like Jennifer Connelly and smashed a mirror in Cousin Jay's face.
This movie could be a blog in itself. The last thing I want to mention is technology. The characters use newspaper ads landlines and flip-phones, and email. I thought smart phones would have existed in 2009. This felt a bit like a '90s film. Perhaps the technology is understated for a reason? Drew Barrymore laments that disparate technological mediums have made simple communication more difficult: she might MySpace message someone and then receive an email from that person but miss it because she checks her email infrequently. I guess if you're using MySpace you might also be using a dial-up modem. Another talking-head piece laments how caller-ID has ruined her game because now the guy can avoid her (*67?). We live in a world where messages converge on a single platform, where we have so much memory that we can add an unlimited number of contacts and not accidentally leave messages for Jenny on Mary's voice mail.
Most rom-coms so far haven't relied much on technology which I think is a good idea for remaining 'timeless' and increasing 'rewatch value'. When Drew Barrymore said 'MySpace' I started laughing and had to back track about 5 minutes.
"MySpace is the new booty call."
Rom-Com Tropes:
1. Marriage as the end-all be-all.
2. Being single sucks and is punishment.
3. The right one is out there and might be under your very nose. He may also not realize it yet.
Soundtrack:
Listening to "Friday I'm in Love" on repeat and trying it out on guitar. Yep, I fell for the unambiguously upbeat song. My favourite version is the Yo La Tengo cover.
"I'm Amazed" by My Morning Jacket is softly playing in the car when Bradley Cooper gets in after running into Scarlett Johansson.
The rest of the soundtrack I could leave.
"He's Just Not That Into You" offers a lazy-susan buffet of interconnected stories strung together with talking-heads and chapter headings. There's never a dull moment.
All-star cast, much like "Forgetting Sarah Marshall", that leaves little room for commercial failure.
Refreshing change of scenery: Baltimore!
I found myself pausing often to digest unlike "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". Based on a book, there is more information to process.
Despite its modernity, "He's Just Not That Into You" is a lot less cynical than say, "Friends With Benefits". It's a 'true' rom-com in the spirit of Jane Austen.
Scarlett Johansson. I would have to give my husband carte blanche. It's Scarlett Johansson. And she teaches yoga.
Personal Reflections:
"All I have is my guitar, these chords, and the truth."
The main goal in every storyline is marriage. Supposing your endgame is marriage, "He's Just Not That Into You" might be of some use to you. Bradley Cooper's character maintains that "No guy actually wants to get married," though by the end he is exposed as the cad he is and is punished accordingly with singledom. In fact, so is Scarlett Johansson. The adulterers are the only ones who are single and who also seem unhappy or at the very least disingenuous about their singledom. As soon as Ginnifer Goodwin has the prospect of a date, she and her co-worker giddily start planning a Napa Valley destination wedding. It's almost as if one must be coupled to be happy...
Unfortunately for Ginnifer Goodwin, she is more often the rule than the exception. I know of couples who were together for 7+ years who became married, so I think the rule book may need some revisions. I think the trend is that more people are products of divorced homes and reluctant to make their parent's mistakes. The movie is from 2009 and the book from 2004. In general, it's a good way to keep your ego in check. You aren't special, snowflake; he just isn't into you.
When we compare the two long term relationships in the movie - one a 7 year relationship, the other Bradley Cooper's marriage - we can see that issuing an ultimatum is not the best way to secure a mate. Bradley answers that he got married because she wanted to get married and would break up with him otherwise - "You're a dick if you date a girl for too long and don't marry her". Ben Affleck and Jennifer Aniston, on the other hand, truly love each other and exist together purely because they promise to commit to and love each other.
We looked at gratitude with "Chasing Amy" and here we have another woman who appreciates having Ben Affleck in her life. As it happens, when you stop focusing on the thing you think you want, declare that "It's enough, it's really enough for me", you get what you want. Ben Affleck proposes to Jennifer Aniston by the end. I would have preferred they remained unmarried, but as the marriage agenda is pushed hard, unlikely.
E (Kevin Connolly who I will forever know as his Entourage character) and Scarlett Johansson prove that it's not just women who fall victim to 'he's just not that into you'. Scarlett Johansson only runs to E when her primary interest seems uninterested and her self-esteem needs a boost. Misconstrued, E offers her 'what every girl wants', which is a house and promise of marriage. When that fails, E asks to 'dial back' to when they were just sleeping together. Another instance of pushing too hard and not being happy enough with what he had.
Of course, E seems to want marriage and isn't in the Bradley Cooper end of things, so it's within his best interest to ask rather than find out 7 years later, he's the rule. This brings about the idea that there are those seeking marriage and those who are not. If you find another person who is seeking commitment, this will work better than trying to 'turn' a person who is not 100% sold on the idea. I'm reminded of "Chasing Amy", replacing 'seeking commitment' with 'same sexual orientation'.
On the topic of "Chasing Amy", Alyssa Jones talks about expanding her search criteria to find 'the one to complete her'. Scarlett Johansson does the same, except she includes married men! While I can see how that makes logical sense, the idea seems morally indefensible. I want to say that Darwinian survival of the fittest should apply here and if a marriage is strong enough, it can survive the advances of a smoldering adulteress. A few months ago, I read a fascinating article in The New Yorker called China's Mistress-Dispellers. It's about a new industry in China in which individuals (much like private detectives) are hired to end extramarital liasons in a discreet manner, bringing the husband back to his wife and out of the grasps of xiao san (the mistress known as 'Little Third'). Just read it! The reason for the industry existing has to do with population disparity between men and women as well as women losing 'value' with age. I think Jennifer Connelly would be sinking a sizable fortune into her mistress dispeller if she wanted to keep Bradley Cooper.
I thought Cousin Jay was completely off-base with his wedding speech directed towards Jennifer Aniston, comparing her to an 'older model' car with some gas in the tank that 'runs well'. Because her younger sister is getting married and she is not married, she needs to be aware that there will be 'newer models arriving'; after all, she doesn't want to get left behind on the lot. I applaud that even after that, being seated next to Dan the Wiccan aka Brother Phoenix-East-Wind (?), and being hit on by a first cousin, she stays strong and cares for her sick dad. I would have raged like Jennifer Connelly and smashed a mirror in Cousin Jay's face.
This movie could be a blog in itself. The last thing I want to mention is technology. The characters use newspaper ads landlines and flip-phones, and email. I thought smart phones would have existed in 2009. This felt a bit like a '90s film. Perhaps the technology is understated for a reason? Drew Barrymore laments that disparate technological mediums have made simple communication more difficult: she might MySpace message someone and then receive an email from that person but miss it because she checks her email infrequently. I guess if you're using MySpace you might also be using a dial-up modem. Another talking-head piece laments how caller-ID has ruined her game because now the guy can avoid her (*67?). We live in a world where messages converge on a single platform, where we have so much memory that we can add an unlimited number of contacts and not accidentally leave messages for Jenny on Mary's voice mail.
Most rom-coms so far haven't relied much on technology which I think is a good idea for remaining 'timeless' and increasing 'rewatch value'. When Drew Barrymore said 'MySpace' I started laughing and had to back track about 5 minutes.
"MySpace is the new booty call."
Rom-Com Tropes:
1. Marriage as the end-all be-all.
2. Being single sucks and is punishment.
3. The right one is out there and might be under your very nose. He may also not realize it yet.
Soundtrack:
Listening to "Friday I'm in Love" on repeat and trying it out on guitar. Yep, I fell for the unambiguously upbeat song. My favourite version is the Yo La Tengo cover.
"I'm Amazed" by My Morning Jacket is softly playing in the car when Bradley Cooper gets in after running into Scarlett Johansson.
The rest of the soundtrack I could leave.
Comments
Post a Comment